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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the charts below show the number of university students in a particular country and how much the government spent on each student between 1984 and 2009 as well as the financial condition of the student's families. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

the charts below show the number of university students in a particular country and how much the government spent on each student between 1984 and 2009 as well as the financial condition of the student's families. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The figures give information about the number of university
students
Use synonyms
 in a certain country and the amount of the government's spending
on
Change preposition
apply
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per student from 1984 until 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the number of
students
Use synonyms
enroll
Wrong verb form
enrolled
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 at higher
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
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 rose throughout the given period, except in 1994. Meanwhile, the amount of the government's expenditure decreased over the years.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there was an increase of 100,000
students
Use synonyms
, from 1984 to 1989. After falling by 50,000, it increased drastically by almost 150,000
students
Use synonyms
 in 1999. Afterwards, in 2004, it achieved approximately 400,000 and soared to finish at exactly 400,000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the government's funding per
pupils
Fix the agreement mistake
pupil
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 saw a significant fall, from just below 14,500
until
Change preposition
to
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 merely 11,500. Between 1984 and 1989, it experienced a sharp decrease
by
Change preposition
of
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 almost 2,000.
Although
Linking Words
 it increased moderately, in the following period, it
then
Linking Words
 witnessed a gradual decline and
hitting
Wrong verb form
hit
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 a trough at precisely 11,000.
However
Linking Words
, it rose slightly and
finish
Wrong verb form
finished
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 at nearly 11,500.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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