Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#traffic #cities #government #businesses #move #areas

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Traffic and housing issues in the urban regions have made authorities entreat companies to shift to the countryside. I believe the benefits to

this

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are more than the drawbacks which will be elaborated on in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there is a huge influx in the big cities since every individual wants to live in

this

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place in search of better jobs and to engage in diverse trading thereby causing congestion in the towns. A lot of the people live the villages and small communities in urban areas and some lack places to lay their heads

due to

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inadequate housing and its affordability.

Also

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, the fumes from the cars are

also

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resulting in some serious health challenges

such

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as respiratory diseases, lung cancer, malaria from mosquito bites from those without proper accommodations just

mention

Fix the infinitive

to mention

show examples

a few.

This

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trend is a huge problem for governments and the growth of a nation.

For instance

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, in Ghana, it has been reported in the

last

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conducted population and Housing Census in 2020 that about 70% of the total population of the country live in a crag being the capital of the Country and almost 45% of these people lack good sleep.

Also

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, if companies and

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

ate sites in the rural towns, much more development

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be brought to these places, people

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

get to do and take care of themselves and their dependents, and talents

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be harnessed since there are individuals in the countryside with great skills but lack the proper channel to exhibit them. Again, there will be decongestions in the big towns and pressure on the few amenities and facilities will be curtailed

as well

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Correct word choice

and

show examples

wastage of resources will be reduced.

For example

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MacDan Group of companies has now set up a salt mining and producing factory in Ada of the greater Accra region of Ghana has seen most of the citizens not only mining the sail and salt to be taken

Change preposition

from

show examples

the cities of production but

is is

Verb problem

apply

show examples

produced in town creating a lot of job avenue for the locals and development to the town.

To conclude

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, I agree with the government's suggestion for factories and businesses to move to the outskirts of the country

due to

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transport jams and housing challenges which I think has more good than bad.

Submitted by asisiyoo on Wed Oct 11 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point and provides supporting details.

task achievement

Use more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Would be helpful to provide a clear opinion in the introduction paragraph and conclusion paragraph.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

385 words

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Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Word Count

It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a breakdown in family relationships and communication. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think more public money should be spent on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. What might be the cases? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Some believe that politicians are the most influential people in the world, while others believe scientists are the most influential. Which side do you agree with and why? Provide specific reasoning for your answer.