IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Traffic and housing issues in the urban regions have made authorities entreat companies to shift to the countryside. I believe the benefits to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 are more than the drawbacks which will be elaborated on in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there is a huge influx in the big cities since every individual wants to live in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 place in search of better jobs and to engage in diverse trading thereby causing congestion in the towns. A lot of the people live the villages and small communities in urban areas and some lack places to lay their heads
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 inadequate housing and its affordability.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the fumes from the cars are
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 resulting in some serious health challenges
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as respiratory diseases, lung cancer, malaria from mosquito bites from those without proper accommodations just
mention
Fix the infinitive
to mention

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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 a few.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 trend is a huge problem for governments and the growth of a nation.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in Ghana, it has been reported in the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 conducted population and Housing Census in 2020 that about 70% of the total population of the country live in a crag being the capital of the Country and almost 45% of these people lack good sleep.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if companies and
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses

It seems that business may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 ate sites in the rural towns, much more development
will
Wrong verb form
would

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb will. Consider changing it.

show examples
 be brought to these places, people
will
Wrong verb form
would

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb will. Consider changing it.

show examples
 get to do and take care of themselves and their dependents, and talents
will
Wrong verb form
would

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb will. Consider changing it.

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 be harnessed since there are individuals in the countryside with great skills but lack the proper channel to exhibit them. Again, there will be decongestions in the big towns and pressure on the few amenities and facilities will be curtailed
as well
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
Correct word choice
and

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 wastage of resources will be reduced.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 MacDan Group of companies has now set up a salt mining and producing factory in Ada of the greater Accra region of Ghana has seen most of the citizens not only mining the sail and salt to be taken
of
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 the cities of production but
is is
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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produced in town creating a lot of job avenue for the locals and development to the town.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I agree with the government's suggestion for factories and businesses to move to the outskirts of the country
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 transport jams and housing challenges which I think has more good than bad.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point and provides supporting details.
task achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Would be helpful to provide a clear opinion in the introduction paragraph and conclusion paragraph.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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