The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #show #percentages #men #women #employment #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The bar charts below

illustrates

Change the verb form

illustrate

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information about the fraction of men and

women

Use synonyms

career

Add an article

a career

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in Canada, south

korea

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Korea

show examples

and

sweden

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Sweden

show examples

in 2005 and 2015.

According to

Linking Words

information

Correct article usage

the information

show examples

provided, we can see that the number of male

workers

Use synonyms

are higher than

women

Use synonyms

in 2005 and 2015.

However

Linking Words

Use synonyms

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

employment in 2005

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

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very low.

In contrast

Linking Words

, in 2015 the

percantage

Correct your spelling

percentage

rises

Wrong verb form

rose

show examples

way

heigher

Correct your spelling

higher

particularly in Canada. If we look closely, we notice that in 2005

Canada

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Canada's

show examples

women

Use synonyms

workers

Use synonyms

were 40% and in 2015 it

increases

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

to 50%.

Similarly

Linking Words

, Male

workers

Use synonyms

were 60% in 2005 and the fraction slightly rises to 70%.

In contrast

Linking Words

, in

sweden

Change the capitalization

Sweden

show examples

male

workers

Use synonyms

were 80% in 2005 and it

decreases

Wrong verb form

decreased

show examples

to 70% in 2015.

While

Linking Words

sweden

Change the capitalization

Sweden

show examples

women

Use synonyms

workers

Use synonyms

were almost 45% in 2005 and it

increases

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

almost to 50% in 2015. Meanwhile, South

korea

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Korea

show examples

rate of

employmnet

Correct your spelling

employment

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

almost the same in both years. To summarize, the bar chart clearly

show

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shows

show examples

that

women

Use synonyms

in different countries employment are less than men.

Submitted by mneeraaljalahma on Sat Oct 14 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, workers with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "rises" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

165 words

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The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

If a product is good and meet customer needs,then people will buy it. So advertising it is unneccessary. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that mothers should spend most of their time raising their family, and therefore the government should support them financially. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages.