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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph shows the proportion of students aged 18-25 studying in the universities of Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand from 1961 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the proportion of students aged 18-25 studying in the universities of Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Thailand from 1961 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of 18-25 aged
students
Use synonyms
 in the
universities
Use synonyms
 of Singapore, Malaysia,
Philippines
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, and Thailand between 1961 and 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, 18-25 year olds
students
Use synonyms
 in
universities
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 increased
throught
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throughout
through
 the period.
While
Linking Words
 Thailand's
universities
Use synonyms
has
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have
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a
Change the article
the
show examples
 highest
percantege
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percentage
 of
students
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from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these ages,
Philippines
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universities
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expreinced
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experienced
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
 proportion. Between 1961 and 1991, Thailand's
universities
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 saw
fluctations
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fluctuations
 in
proportion
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the proportion
a proportion
show examples
 of 18-25 ages
students
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 (25%).
Similarly
Linking Words
, Singapore's
universities
Use synonyms
 showed
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
osillation
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oscillation
 but
in
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an
show examples
upward
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an upward
the upward
show examples
 trend. After 1991,
involvment
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involvement
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Singapore's
universities
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 from these ages rose sharply and reached to highest
percantege
Correct your spelling
percentage
 (almost 42%). From 1961 to 1991, young proportions of
students
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whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 went to
universities
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 from Malaysia and
Philippines
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 rose from nearly 2% and 7% to 15%, respectively. After that year,
proportions
Correct article usage
the proportions
show examples
 in
Malaysia
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Malaysian universities
show examples
Universities
Use synonyms
 stayed
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
Philippines
Change noun form
Philippine's
Philippines'
show examples
 ones showed slightly
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, universities, philippines with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • higher education
  • trend
  • contrast
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • plateau
  • governmental policies
  • economic situations
  • cultural attitudes
  • education growth
  • correlation
  • historical events
  • political events
  • projection
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