Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that engaging in outdoor activities is more essential
rather
than spending time with online Rephrase
apply
games
. To some extent, I agree with this
opinion who think playing online games
is an unnecessary activity because of
some reasons, but I still believe that there are other aspects to consider.
On the one hand, there are two obvious aspects why certain cases need to be taken into account. First of all, those children who play online Change preposition
for
games
have strong critical thinking. Because of this
these guys are occupied with finding solutions to the problems at most of their time in the Add a comma
this,
games
. As a result
of that, in the future, these kids will be not only a person who have strong and independent logic but also
they are more likely to be programmers who have a high level of IQ. Moreover
, they may have a good adaptation to technological advances as they prefer to utilize devices which are more modern and comfortable to use than others. After these circumstances
they do not face any technological problems, which means living a life as a Add a comma
circumstances,
its
fellow.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
On the other hand
, there are two obvious reasons why I agree with those who think it is worse work to employ playing computer games
. Undoubtedly, a person who is busy with outdoor activity is unlikely to be vulnerable as well as
experiencing any illness. Because they do not have any problems with lacking of
the natural vitamins. Remove the preposition
apply
Besides
that, youngsters who are occupied with such
activities are brave, and they do not live in a glass house. This
person is getting on like a house on fire.
In conclusion, I have mixed opinions about engaging in outdoor activities rather than playing games
and certain cases could be true for different circumstances. That is
why holding a firm opinion about it is more difficult than it seems and balance should be the priority in my view.Submitted by @ur_davrik
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay clearly states whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Currently, it is unclear.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly and logically.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Review and correct the grammar errors in your essay.