Your child is going on a three day school trip to another country. The head teacher wants to find parents to go with the group and you would like to go. Write a letter to the head teacher. In your letter: ● Say why you would like to go on the trip ● Suggest what you could do to help during the trip ● Ask other questions about the trip

#child #three #school #trip #country #head #teacher #parents #group #questions

Dear Mr. Smith, I am Shiva Prasad, father of Devansh, who was studying in the 4th class in your school. I came to know that a school trip is planned to abroad for 3 days. I am writing

this

letter to inform my willingness

in attending

Change preposition

to attend

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the camp

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apply

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overseas. These days,

due to

the heavy

work

Correct your spelling

workload

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lord I feel

myself

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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exhausted, so I am inclined towards the programme

inorder

Correct your spelling

in order

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to unwind, and spend

ample

Correct article usage

an ample

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amount of time with my children. As

the

Correct article usage

apply

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I work for a travel company in

visakhapatnam

Change the capitalization

Visakhapatnam

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addition

Add the comma(s)

addition,

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I have been to Srilanka

for

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apply

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2 times.

Therefore

, I Could aid you

Change preposition

with

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the accommodation required during the period

Furthermore

, I have

friend

Add an article

a friend

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working for a missionary school in that country. we could request him to arrange a travel bus for us. May I know the date of return, so that I can apply for leave

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show examples

Furthermore

Add a comma

Furthermore,

show examples

can we bring our relatives asking with us for the trip? I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Shiva

Submitted by shiva.abc88 on Wed Oct 18 2023

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task response

Make sure to address all parts of the question fully and appropriately

coherence and cohesion

Organize your ideas in a more coherent and cohesive manner, with clear paragraphing and appropriate use of linking words

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

173 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time.What problems can this situation create?What are the possible solutions?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a results od eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

Some people think that schools should stop teaching students by using books, because students find them boring and that children can learn from films, TV, video games and computer instead. To what extent do you agree?