IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university student want to learn about other subject in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to study for a qualification. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#university #student #addition #subjects #time #attention #study #qualification
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There are
students
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 from
university
Add an article
the university
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 who wants to add minor
subjects
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in
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to
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 their programs,
while
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 others believe that focusing on what is needed is more vital. In my opinion,
although
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 learning other topics may add general
knowledge
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 to
students
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, specialising
on
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in
show examples
 the
subjects
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 that will deepen their
knowledge
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 about the degree will be more helpful in the future.
To begin
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, learning minor
subjects
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 is applied to some curriculums to improve the general
knowledge
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 of
students
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,
such
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 as arts or languages.
This
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 is common in many universities in the Philippines, where
students
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 have at least 11 to 12
subjects
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 every semester and five of them are additional
subjects
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. These were included to expand their expertise
on
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in
show examples
 other areas,
for example
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, if one is taking an accountancy major, learning about Spanish or French may open an opportunity for them to work in a company that
value
Correct subject-verb agreement
values
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 multi-linguals in the future. Meanwhile, those who oppose
this
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 idea
and
Correct word choice
apply
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thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 that
students
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 should focus on the topics which
tackles
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tackle
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about
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apply
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the program to master it and become competent in that profession. Take medicine
for instance
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,
this
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 is one of the degrees that
requires
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require
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 a lot of time and focus to study
about
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apply
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the different internal and external factors of
a
Correct article usage
the
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 human body.
Therefore
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,
to add
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adding
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 extra
subjects
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 that are irrelevant to medicine may divert their interests, which could affect their studies.
However
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, they may join clubs or
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
 activities to diversify their learning experience in the institution. In conclusion, adding
subjects
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 that student are eager to learn may enhance their
knowledge
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 and opportunities in other fields. I believe focusing on specific related
subjects
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 is more vital as they would be able to master the program and become good at what they do in the future.
Submitted by mjdf0930 on

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task achievement
Consider giving more balanced arguments for both views and provide further explanation to support your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger and more cohesive logical structure by organizing your ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and consider using more academic and formal language.
grammatical range and accuracy
Pay more attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
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