The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015.
The bar
chert
Correct your spelling
chart
provide
information about Change the verb form
provides
proportion
of male and female who have work to do it in three different countries in 2005 and 2015.
Add an article
the proportion
Overall
the bar chart illustrates that the male percentages are always more
than Correct word choice
higher
female
in the Fix the agreement mistake
females
tow
years Correct your spelling
two
also
appeared that South Korea
employment is the highest .
Looking in more detail , in 2005 male percentages Correct your spelling
Korean
always
more than Add a missing verb
were always
female
with Fix the agreement mistake
females
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
different
the Canada proportion for Replace the word
difference
female
was around 38% Fix the agreement mistake
females
while
Add an article
the male
male
was about Fix the agreement mistake
males
about
75% . South Korea Remove the redundancy
apply
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
also
shows big
Correct article usage
a big
different
between male and female the Replace the word
difference
percentage
were around 75% and 30% for male and female respectively . Also
the Add a comma
Also,
percentage
for Sweden was really a loot
the Correct your spelling
lot
percentage
Change the noun form
percentages
were
around 45 % Change the verb form
was
foe
female and close to 80% for male . Correct your spelling
for
Therefor
we can conclude that Sweden is the apex Correct your spelling
Therefore
countries
in work .
Fix the agreement mistake
country
In
the other hand in Change preposition
On
the
Correct article usage
apply
2015
the employment rate Add a comma
2015,
had
increased . The Unnecessary verb
apply
percentage
foe
Canada was 70% Correct your spelling
for
as
contrast Change preposition
in
on
2005 was around 60% for Change preposition
in
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
also
same
for Correct article usage
the same
female
. For South Korea Fix the agreement mistake
females
while
male was around 80% the female was about 35 % . But in Sweden
the rate Add a comma
Sweden,
id
clearly Correct your spelling
is
decrease
for Change the verb form
decreases
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
as
Change preposition
in
contrast
Correct article usage
the contrast
foe
Correct your spelling
for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
had
increased .Wrong verb form
has
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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