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Writing Samples
Band 4

As global trade increases between different countries, many daily necessities are produced in other countries. Such goods are usually transported a long distance. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh its drawbacks?

#trade #increases #countries #necessities #goods #distance #trend
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It is generally known,
we
Correct word choice
that we
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 usually use the important
goods
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 on a daily basis that we got from other countries, which means it requires the process of importing
goods
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. Personally, I hold the perception that
this
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 trade has more drawbacks
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 for local brands. There are various reasons why most
people
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 use imported
products
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 on a daily basis.
Firstly
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, the price is more chips and
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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high quality, so
people
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 are more interested in using them or
to resell
Wrong verb form
reselling them
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. Foreign companies can sell at a cheaper price than other similar
products
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 because they produce the
products
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 on a wide scale.
Secondly
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, imported
goods
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 give more high technology and
easy
Add a missing verb
are easy
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 to use so it makes jobs easier.
For example
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, many imported
goods
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such
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 as cleaning robots
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can help
people
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to
Verb problem
apply
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clean rooms without touch because the robot can detect the dirty and have a schedule for cleaning. In spite of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 reasons, I am inclined to argue that increases
of
Change preposition
in
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 imported
products
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 could kill the production of local
products
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. It is important to educate
people
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 to love local
products
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 to support economic growth. If increasing global trade continues it will make small and medium enterprises lose their jobs and become unemployed. Local
products
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 might not be more modern than imported
products
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 but local
products
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 are usually made from high quality composition and can be used for a longer period than imported
products
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.
Moreover
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, local
products
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 maintain the economic circulation of other local raw materials. In conclusion, with the reasons mentioned above, I think that
people
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 should be more aware of the importance of loving local
products
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 and the government might restrict
the
Correct article usage
apply
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imported
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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