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Band 5.5

Some employers offer their employees subsidized membership of gyms and sport clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion.

#employers #offer #employees #membership #gyms #sport #clubs #staff #work #benefit #arguments #aspects #debate #conclusion
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Employers always struggle to find ways to increase their employees' productivity. Subsidizing
health
 programs is one way to pursue
such
 a goal. There are arguments on
this
 matter, which we will discuss here. On the one hand,
health
 programs would decrease the staff's level of stress which might result in better functioning at the workplace.
Also
, employees would have a more balanced life/work, because they have more leisure time in their daily routines.
Therefore
, it would be motivating to use some of the budget of companies to invest in
health
 and sports areas, rather than paying increments, perks, or financial rewards
such
 as incentives and bonuses which could be hard to achieve.
On the contrary
, a major drawback of leisure-based subsidies is that their outcome on employees' performance cannot be measured accurately.
Nonetheless
, the budget could be used for on-the-day training or ongoing training which their efficiency could be easily traced.
Moreover
, training your own workforce encourages them for career progression and to have better job prospects. All of these matters could be measured in be used in performance reviews and appraisals, and
as a result
, they reduce the possibility of a redundancy of the workforce in case of restructuring, downsizing, or outsourcing.
To conclude
,
health
 and sports subsidies could be highly motivating, but there is a significant shortcoming which is their effect on your workforce cannot be precisely measured. Yet, we can use the budget on training to motivate them to have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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better job prospects
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and prevent losing our human resources in case of restructuring, downsizing, or outsourcing.
Submitted by atefeh.maleki.94 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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