IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries employees are generally given two weeks of paid vacation time each year. In other countries employers are given four or six weeks of paid vacation time. Considering the need of both employee and employer, what do you think is a reasonable amount of paid vacation time for employees to have? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Introduction
Nowadays to get paid
vacation
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 your company depend on
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 and employer ,Some countries obtain two weeks of paid
vacation
Use synonyms
 annually ,and
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
 countries obtain 4 to 6 week
paid
Change preposition
of paid
show examples
vacation
Use synonyms
 yearly. I completely with a short paid
vacation
Use synonyms
 .
Body paragraph 1
In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 two weeks of paid
vacation
Use synonyms
 is
obtained
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more reasonable and useful for
employees
Use synonyms
;
firstly
Linking Words
 short duration to come back to work
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
still fresh and
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
, and
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rest and relax
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,long paid
vacation
Use synonyms
 has a negative impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
employees
Use synonyms
 and companies. For the company to employers must
paid
Change the verb form
pay
be paid
show examples
 much money
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
serves
Replace the word
services
show examples
;which can be invested one other useful things that lead to
expand
Wrong verb form
expansion of
show examples
 the company service ,
such
Linking Words
 as
establish
Wrong verb form
establishing
show examples
 new branches, resting
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
 or entertainment
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 for
employees
Use synonyms
 to stress release on break time.
Body paragraph 3
The impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 is
overload
Correct article usage
an overload
show examples
 work much activities to do
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
caused by
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 staff members who get paid
vacation
Use synonyms
 ,So
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to Inappropriate and a lot of mistakes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 tasks
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are
argue
Replace the word
arguments
show examples
 for short a
long paid
Add a hyphen
long-paid
show examples
vacation
Use synonyms
 but I completely with
short paid
Add a hyphen
short-paid
show examples
vacation
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 will be more
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 for
employees
Use synonyms
 and
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • employee well-being
  • productivity
  • loyalty
  • creativity
  • problem-solving abilities
  • cultural norms
  • expectations
  • attract
  • retain
  • competitive job markets
  • minimum vacation time
  • policies
What to do next:
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