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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

This diagram shows us the stages of manufacturing bricks, in building industry.

This diagram shows us the stages of manufacturing bricks, in building industry.
this
Linking Words
 diagram shows us the stages of manufacturing
bricks
Use synonyms
, in
building
Add an article
the building
show examples
 industry. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
miner
Fix the agreement mistake
miners
show examples
mining
Wrong verb form
mine
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clay
Use synonyms
 by excavator, with
help
Correct article usage
the help
show examples
 of
excavator
Correct article usage
an excavator
show examples
 bucket. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the mined
clay
Use synonyms
 goes to
roller
Add an article
the roller
a roller
show examples
, but
before
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
filtered
Add a missing verb
is filtered
show examples
 by
metal
Add an article
a metal
show examples
 grid, to put away the other waste or garbage. The third step is adding the water plus sand to
Use synonyms
clay
Correct article usage
the clay
show examples
. Now
this
Linking Words
clay
Use synonyms
 is getting distributed to other ways of manufacturing.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
 way
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
cutting
Change preposition
by cutting
show examples
 the
clay
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
wire
Correct article usage
a wire
show examples
 cutter.
Second
Add an article
The second
show examples
 way
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is moulding the
clay
Use synonyms
 to
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 familiar look. Well, we have the
bricks
Use synonyms
 , but they are wet. Now we need to put our
bricks
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
drying
Correct article usage
the drying
show examples
 oven, from
twenty four
Add a hyphen
twenty-four
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 to
forty eight
Add a hyphen
forty-eight
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
. Now we put our
bricks
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
kiln
Correct article usage
the kiln
show examples
 oven. For the first time we
putting
Wrong verb form
put
show examples
 on moderate temperature, from 200
degrees
Use synonyms
 to 980
degrees
Use synonyms
 Celsius . After a certain
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 we
put
Verb problem
set
show examples
 a high temperature
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
kiln
Add an article
the kiln
a kiln
show examples
 , from 870
degrees
Use synonyms
 to 1300
degrees
Use synonyms
 Celsius . Now that some time is over, we put our hot
bricks
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
cooling
Correct article usage
a cooling
show examples
 chamber, from 48
hours
Use synonyms
 to 72
hours
Use synonyms
.
Bricks
Use synonyms
 are ready. We have to
packaging
Change the verb
package
show examples
 it to delivery trucks. The
last
Linking Words
 step
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is delivers
Change the verb form
is delivered
show examples
 going to take our
bricks
Use synonyms
 to
different
Add an article
the different
show examples
 construction
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks, clay, hours, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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