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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.
#information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #years
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The
people
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 were giving
money
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 to
chairty
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 by age 18+ till 65 and between 1990 - 2010 . Actually in 1990 all ages were higher on
chairty
Use synonyms
 than 2010 , When we think about
this
Linking Words
 we can notice the life in 1990 wasn't easy like 2010 and even with that the
people
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 with all difrent ages has higher. Volnteers in 2010 was lower but if we notice the chart we can see only 51-65 years higher than 1990 it could be
also
Linking Words
 from the retaired salary that nowdays gives for old workers
also
Linking Words
 +65 has higher percentge so when we think about it and try to simple it on points: 1- Younger
people
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 from 18 to 50 were higher in 1990 . 2- Older
people
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 from 36 to +65 were higher in 2010 . What do you think about nowdays ? I would say it probably the same in 2010 but
this
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 will be my only opinion . Some workers they complain about low salaries but they
also
Linking Words
 still give
money
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 to
chairty
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 because they belive
people
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 must help each other because when you give
money
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 to
chairty
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 will go for many ways i'll give some examples as points: 1. Feed homeless
people
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. 2.Make shelters for homeless. 3.Learn and teach kids who has no school. 4.Help anyone in the
chairty
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 area who need
money
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 or food.
This
Linking Words
 simple examples for what
chairty
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 do on the volnteer
money
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,
This
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 will be the
last
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 on my article and i hope you will get the benfiet from what i wrote. With all my love and respect. My best regards Amjad
Submitted by elshamrifawaz on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, money, chairty with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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