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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugar #health #people
Some individuals believe that sugary
products
 should be more expensive, and with
this
increasement
Correct your spelling
increase
 in
price
Add a comma
price,
show examples
 there would be a
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 reduction. I totally agree with
this
 statement not only because
sugar
 has a direct
impact
 on the public
health
 care system, but
also
 because
sugar
 has an addiction power and should follow the same rules as
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 vice
products
. The main reason I support the idea of
sugar
products
 more expensive,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is because of the
impact
 on the public
health
 care system. It is well known that
sugar
 causes a series of
health
problems
 to those who consume more than the recommended, and unfortunately, it brings a
several
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 number of people to the hospitals every year.
For instance
, there are numerous cases of
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
 related to
sugar
,
such
 as obesity and diabetes.
Furthermore
,
sugar
 is considered a substance that causes addiction, and brings a negative
impact
 to the population. There are a range of different rules and laws related to substances that cause addiction
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
health
 issues to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, and
sugar
 should be treated the same way those
products
 are.
For example
,
sugar
 causes
health
problems
 just like alcohol and
tabacco
Correct your spelling
tobacco
, but the
sugar
 industry is not penalized for those
problems
. In conclusion, I strongly agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugar
products
 should be more expensive because of the negative
impact
 on the
health
 care system of our country, and
also
 to be fair with other industries that pay high taxes because of the
problems
 caused by their
products
, just like
sugar
 does.
Submitted by lucasb7z on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar consumption
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • encourage
  • expensive
  • reduce
  • effectively
  • discourage
  • tight budget
  • purchasing
  • disproportionately
  • lower-income individuals
  • healthier food choices
  • demand
  • regardless
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