Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
Nowdays
many Correct the word
Nowadays
people
believe that the violence
in computer
games
and on the television
has a detrimental effect on society
. Some contend that those factors have no significant impact on people
’s behaviour. In my opinion, I strongly believe that there is no reason to say positive
effect of the Add an article
the positive
violence
in computer
games
and on television
related to society
or people
’s behaviour.
On one hand, people
who watch the violence
in computer
games
can be led into isolation from the society
. People
might be addicted by
a Change preposition
to
game
when they keep their attention on the screen. Even though there is the violence
in the computer
games
, many people
might ignore it. It is because the game
has interesting
mode which can lead to addiction to the users. An addiction of Add an article
an interesting
this
kind is not healthy and sometimes can lead to isolation. For example
, when people
start to try a game
in
the Change preposition
on
computer
they might want to try again and again because they have a curiosity in it. They want to finish the challenge in the game
so that this
condition can make them far away from society
.
In conclusion, even though many people
think that the violence
of the
Correct article usage
apply
computer
games
and on
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
television
is not affect
Change the verb form
does not affect
people
’s behaviour, there are many proofs that can be considered as a negative effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a negative effect
negative effects
particularly
in Add the comma(s)
, particularly
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. The government should take the
responsibility Correct article usage
apply
to maintain
the Change preposition
for maintaining
violence
in the
Correct article usage
apply
computer
games
or on the
Correct article usage
apply
television
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task response
Make sure to stay focused on the topic throughout the essay. Provide a clear stance and support it with relevant arguments and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and cohesive devices to create a logical and coherent structure. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the topic and your opinion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite