IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentage of Australian men and women in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014.

The charts below show the percentage of Australian men and women in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014.
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The bar chart describes the number of people who
get
Wrong verb form
got
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 a job in 1984, 200 and 2014 in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most men in Australia
employed
Add a missing verb
are employed
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in
Change preposition
from
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 age 34 to 44. The age 60 to 64 was the lowest period than anyone.
According to
Linking Words
 the shape, there was a great similarity of percentage in 35-44 at all these
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the high was increased sharply and even.
While
Linking Words
 the second
eara
Correct your spelling
area
 had small differences but in 2014 was decreased rapidly to 50%. In ages 60-
64
Add a comma
64,
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 the enrolled job was low because it is old people.
However
Linking Words
, in 1984 and 2001, the rate of employees was the same. In 2014 the percentage rose dramatically to 60%.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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