The charts below show the percentage of Australian men and women in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014.
The bar chart describes the number of people who
get
a job in 1984, 200 and 2014 in Australia.
Wrong verb form
got
Overall
, the
most men in Australia Correct article usage
apply
employed
Add a missing verb
are employed
in
age 34 to 44. The age 60 to 64 was the lowest period than anyone.
Change preposition
from
According to
the shape, there was a great similarity of percentage in 35-44 at all these period
. Fix the agreement mistake
periods
In addition
, the high was increased sharply and even. While
the second eara
had small differences but in 2014 was decreased rapidly to 50%.
In ages 60-Correct your spelling
area
64
the enrolled job was low because it is old people. Add a comma
64,
However
, in 1984 and 2001, the rate of employees was the same. In 2014 the percentage rose dramatically to 60%.Submitted by maltobi08 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
