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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line chart shows the birth rate in the USA and China from 1920 to 2000

The line chart shows the birth rate in the USA and China from 1920 to 2000
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The line chart displays the Natality in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 and China between 1920 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that there was a downward trend in the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
birth
Fix the agreement mistake
births
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 in the two countries over the years.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, In 1920,the highest value stood at 11 in the United
states
Capitalize word
States
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 and 10 in China.The two countries
both
Use synonyms
 witnessed a similar pattern from 1920 to 1930 as there
was
Change the verb form
were
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 fluctuations,
although
Linking Words
, between 1930 and 1935, there was an intersection of
both
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 rates at 12 followed by a plunge in
both
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 nations to 5 in 1945.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was a rapid increase to 20 in America hitting the peak of the chart, simultaneously,the other country
also
Linking Words
 saw a sudden rise to 15 in 1990.
However
Linking Words
, there was a dramatic fall in
both
Use synonyms
 figures in
both
Use synonyms
 countries as
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 stood at 7 being the highest birth value in that year,
while
Linking Words
 China dipped to 3 and was the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 in 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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