You recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter ●describe the problem with the equipment ●explain what happened when you phoned the shop ● say what you would like the manager to do.

#piece #equipment #kitchen #work #shop #action #manager #●describe #●explain

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope you are doing well. I am writing regarding

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

my recently purchased item from your

shop

. I bought

last

3 days ago. Unfortunately, the equipment that I bought is not working. I already

inform

Wrong verb form

informed

show examples

the

shop

but

Correct pronoun usage

there no

show examples

response yet.

Furthermore

, when I

am turn

Change the verb form

turn

show examples

on the equipment

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

is no light to indicate if it is on/off

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I double the circuits in my house if

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

broken but

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

working in other

equiments

Correct your spelling

requirements

Then

, I try again your items to double if it is working unfortunately is not working.

In addition

, I already

inform

Wrong verb form

informed

show examples

your

shop

regarding

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

problem but they

Add a missing verb

are angy

show examples

angy

Correct your spelling

angry

Change preposition

with

show examples

me. The tone of his

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

voice is shouting

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show examples

me. I am talking to him

with

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show examples

a good manner for asking regarding

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apply

show examples

the item.

However

, I would to request a replacement for

this

item.

In addition

, please inform your staff to be nice to the

costumer

Correct your spelling

customer

show examples

who

asling

Correct your spelling

asking

question

Fix the agreement mistake

questions

show examples

regarding

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the items that they

dont

Correct your spelling

do not

know. I

suggesting to have

Wrong verb form

suggest having

show examples

custumer

Correct your spelling

customer

service representative and

Correct article usage

a custumer

show examples

custumer

Correct your spelling

customer

survey so that you can

evalaute

Correct your spelling

evaluate

your

shop

what

Correct word choice

and what

show examples

is the problem. I hope I will hear from you soon. Yours faithfully,

Austia

Correct your spelling

Austria

Submitted by kimberlygumban on Thu Oct 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

Be clear and concise in describing the problem with the equipment.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas in a logical manner, with each paragraph focusing on a single idea.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.

grammatical range

Use a wider range of grammatical structures to demonstrate your language proficiency.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

204 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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