IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You went on a holiday organized by a tour company. you think your tour guide was excellent. right a letter to the manager in your letter *described the details of your holiday explain *what the tour guide did that was helpful *suggests how he can be rewarded

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Dear Sir/Madam I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter in order to you
for creating
Change preposition
to create
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 the most effective imagination holiday for me, that I had
last
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 week on your professional
tour
Use synonyms
 especially your
tour
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 leader when I
had chosen
Wrong verb form
chose
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 to go to Jill Castle on Yellow Hill. In fact, I am grateful to your
tour
Use synonyms
guide
Use synonyms
 Mr Jackson, because of his perfect management of time and especially his complete information about the places, we visited on our trip. Undoubtedly, that trip was a memorable holiday for me,
as a
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result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
 your
tour
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guide
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 could create a friendly atmosphere among all fellow traveller. We had a happy time with perfect music on our bus.
Hence
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, he had interesting information about the Castle,
such
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 as its environment and history.
Also
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, he could help us to purchase the best craftsman for our family members. I recall we had an old woman on our bus in the middle of the day who had a panic. At first time, we
had
Verb problem
were
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 afraid, but your
tour
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guide
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 could help her with his medical knowledge
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 was so perfect.
Finally
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, if it is possible you have a grateful him by reward or a suitable gift. Because
this
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 kind of encouragement can improve your
guide
Use synonyms
tour
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 skills. Many thanks for considering my letter. yours faithfully Souri Red

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task response
Make sure to address all points mentioned in the task description. You did not provide details about your holiday or suggest how the tour guide can be rewarded.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas logically and use appropriate transitional phrases to connect them.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied words to convey your ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structures and improve your grammatical accuracy.
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