As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. What are some job positions that may be lost because of computers? What are some problems that may result from this situatiof!

#world #computers #people #jobs #job #positions #situatiof

Technology and advancements go hand in hand. The advent of technology and

implementation

Correct article usage

the implementation

show examples

of modern tools and techniques are set to replace the

jobs

requiring human intervention with

computers

. Nowadays most

work

that

require

Change the verb form

requires

show examples

entry of

recoreded

Correct your spelling

recorded

data and analysis,

are

Change the verb form

show examples

being done through automated machines, leaving behind no

jobs

for people in

this

sector. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss the

above stated

Add a hyphen

above-stated

show examples

notion in detail and will

also

explain the problems that

this

situation will generate.

To begin

with, any

work

sector worldwide

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

the entry and recording of the data related to it. Earlier there were a lot of

jobs

available for people

concerning

Change preposition

show examples

this

line of

work

Alongwith

Correct your spelling

Along with

this

book stores

Correct your spelling

bookstores

show examples

were

also

the prime source of information and learning which can be now accessed easily through surfing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the web. After

introduction

Add an article

the introduction

show examples

of modern

computers

, both of the

above stated

Add a hyphen

above-stated

show examples

sectors experienced a dramatic downfall in the

work

options related to it and are now completely replaced with desktops.

For instance

According to

survey

Add an article

the survey

a survey

show examples

, in the past

decade

Add a comma

decade,

show examples

there has been a significant decline in the number of

jobs

related to data entry or selling books forcing the concerned

personell

Correct your spelling

personnel

to change their line of

work

Furthermore

, in earlier times

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more and more

jobs

that required human interference are now being completely replaced by

computers

, leaving behind most of the populace with no

work

to do. As it is a very common saying " Empty mind is the devil's workshop", most of the individuals indulge themselves

to do

Change preposition

in doing

show examples

illegal

work

This

not only endangers their life but

also

jeopardize the future of their family.

For example

, the Ministry of

Work

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

has mandated to provide a monthly allowance and a replacement for the old job for the persons whose professions were snatched away by the introduction of

computers

To sum up

, the world of

automation

Correct article usage

the automation

show examples

industry is going to achieve great heights and is set to curb

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human interference to a minimum. It should be the

responsibilty

Correct your spelling

responsibility

of individuals to choose their profession wisely and the ruling organisations should

also

be competent enough to provide new

work

options for the affected population.

Submitted by mrigankingley2099 on Fri Oct 27 2023

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task response

Your essay does not fully address all aspects of the task. You should provide a more comprehensive and balanced discussion of the job positions that may be lost due to computers.

coherence cohesion

There is a lack of logical structure in your essay. Make sure to present your ideas in a clear and organized manner, with appropriate paragraphing.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively. Try to use specific and precise language to convey your thoughts.

grammatical range

Work on improving your grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to sentence structure, verb agreement, and tense consistency.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

359 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. What are some job positions that may be lost because of computers? What are some problems that may result from this situatiof!

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe school children should be given multiple vacations while others think they should get one long vacation. Discuss advantages for both and give your opinion.

Due to development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small local business are unable to compete. some thought that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree??

Some people say that no one should do the same job forever, others believe that doing the same job is beneficial for the individual company and society. Discuss both views and give you open your opinion.

The cultures of many countries around the world becomes more similar than they used to be. What are the reasons for this trend? Is it positive or negative?

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?