Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and that having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many
people
say that doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
good
Add an article
a good
performance
in their jobs is better than job
security. While others
believe that Correct word choice
Others
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
steadily
work is crucial. Change the adverb
steady
This
essay will discuss both views of the statement and explain writer's
opinion in the following paragraphs.
Correct article usage
the writer's
To begin
with, doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
good
Add an article
a good
performance
in a job
is important. It will make people
to
get higher Change the verb form
apply
earning
. Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
This
is because companies will focus on employees
who can complete their jobdesks
excellently. Correct your spelling
job desks
Furthermore
, this
is linked to increase
Correct article usage
an increase
the
level of achievements. Young Change preposition
in the
people
with a lot of passion have a desire to prove themselves. They will challenge their skills by constantly improving their capacity. Nowdays
, Correct the word
Nowadays
people
tend to choose a company that offer
flexible contract duration. Working with long duration Change the verb form
offers
contract
will make Fix the agreement mistake
contracts
people
less motivate
and will decrease their satisfaction level.
Wrong verb form
motivated
Whereas
, people
who are having
permanent Wrong verb form
have
job
feel more secure in their Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
live
. With Replace the word
lives
a
permanent work, Correct article usage
apply
employees
do not feel insecure about the future, especially for they
who have family. Correct pronoun usage
those
For instance
, they will get monthly paid with a standard performance
and there is no high pressure in their job
. Additionally
, permanent employees
have more benefits, such
as compensation fee
and retired Fix the agreement mistake
fees
fund
when they Fix the agreement mistake
funds
are reach
the age of 65.
In conclusion, in my opinion, doing a good Change the verb form
reach
performance
in a
Correct article usage
apply
job
is important, because it can increase employees
' earning
and capacity. Despite having a permanent Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
job
is also
important, however
Add the comma(s)
however,
this
is only applied to the
Correct article usage
apply
people
who have family or older employees
. Because they will get more security in their live
and have several Replace the word
lives
benefit
Change the noun form
benefits
such
as compensation and retired
funds.Replace the word
retirement
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task achievement
Make sure to address all aspects of the task prompt and provide a balanced discussion of both views.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay in a clear and logical manner by using appropriate paragraph structure and cohesive devices.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of synonyms and expressions.
grammatical range
Work on your grammatical accuracy, paying attention to verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement.
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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
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Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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