The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.

#first #percentages #women #men #country #kinds #home #tasks #pet #house #second #amount #time #gender

The two butterfly charts

illustrates

Change the verb form

illustrate

show examples

the comparison of the involvement of both sexes in four categories of household work. Units are measured in percentages and

minutes

respectively.

Overall

it is clear that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the maximum portion of household activities are performed by

females

than that of

males

Conversely

, men perform house repair work more than

females

. With regard to cooking and cleaning, the maximum number of women participate in these tasks (around 80% and 60% respectively),

in contrast

males

Fix the agreement mistake

male

show examples

participation in these aspects is approximately 60% and 40% respectively.

Furthermore

, the average amount of time spent on cooking and cleaning by the

females

is about 85 and 69

minutes

respectively,

whereas

males

spend less amount of time behind these tasks (approximately 60 and 45

minutes

respectively).

On the other hand

, for pet care

males

participate a little bit more (approximately 1%) than

females

, thereby spending an equal amount of time.

Besides

, man participates and spends more

minutes

in hose repairs, amounting to around 19% and 19

minutes

respectively, with lesser involvement by

females

in these sectors (around 9% and 5

minutes

respectively).

Submitted by asifiqbal1264 on Sat Oct 28 2023

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Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, females, males with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

181 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.

Today the high sale of popular consumer goods reflects the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people sau that in order to be happy you must have a job you love doing other say that other factors are more important do you think that people can only be happy if they have a job they really enjoy

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? What are the effects on family life and society?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.