IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The best way to reduce traffic congestion in cities is to provide a free public transport service. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion with examples.

#traffic #congestion #cities #transport #service
Recently,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increasing
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 talking about how to solve the problem of traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
. Some advised that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation should be open to everyone without any payment. I think the method will not make the traffic situation better,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast, it may cause more issues.
Firstly
, the basic problem has to be discussed. Job opportunities in cities are attracting young people to come to seek a place to achieve their dreams, which causes a large population increase in the present. Clearly, the fundational construction
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not following the
expectional
Correct your spelling
expected
 change.Before they could afford a car, they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 to squeeze into public vehicles in the rush time
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. Bus lines can be provided more during that time zone.
Secondly
, the working period in every company is similar, which
enhaced
Correct your spelling
enhanced
 the congestion of traffic. In my opinion, the time should be
changable
Correct your spelling
changeable
.
In addition
, employees can choose either to work from home or at
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
. In conclusion, I do not think free buses and subways are the perfect solution for the road issue.We have to solve the related problems and take people's needs seriously. Many factors have to be
concerned
Verb problem
considered
show examples
 in the coming future.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your main points are somewhat clear, but they lack detailed explanations and examples. Try to provide more supporting evidence and specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear thesis statement and a proper conclusion. Make sure to state your position on the topic clearly in the introduction and summarize your arguments in the conclusion.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is fairly basic and lacks variety. Try to incorporate more advanced vocabulary and precise terminology relevant to the topic.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout your essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: