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Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one untiversity in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one untiversity in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
#show #proportions #british #students #untiversity #england #languages #addition #english
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The graph shows the percentages of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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university
students
Use synonyms
 in England who are British English
speaker
Fix the agreement mistake
speakers
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 but can speak
in
Change preposition
apply
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other languages, in
Change the article
the year
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2000 and 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 most of
Use synonyms
students
Add an article
the students
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 who can speak in other languages are good in only
Spanish
Use synonyms
 in both time periods.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
rate
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 for
students
Use synonyms
 who can speak in 'Two other languages' and German only remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
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,
wheras
Correct your spelling
whereas
 the other rates changed after 10 years.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the proportion of
students
Use synonyms
 who can speak
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Spanish
Use synonyms
 and 'Another
language
Use synonyms
' has increased from 2000 to 2010. The
rate
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 for
Use synonyms
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
 rise from 30% to 35% and the figures for 'Another
language
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' are 15% and 20%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the student percentages for French experienced a 5% fall in 2010, but the
rate
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 for 'No other
language
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'
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
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 down to
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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half (from 20% to 10%) in 10 years period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
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 ratio for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
German and 'Two other
Use synonyms
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
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' were
consistant
Correct your spelling
consistent
 throughout the decade.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Spanish
Use synonyms
 is the favourite
language
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 after English for the British
Students
Use synonyms
 of that university from 2000 to 2010.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 half of
other
Add an article
the other
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 rates altered
5
Change preposition
by 5
show examples
%, the people
rate
Use synonyms
 with no other
language
Use synonyms
 skills came down to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half.
Submitted by Jasim Uddin Rahat on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, spanish, rate, language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • percentage
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • globalisation
  • educational reforms
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • predominant
  • future career opportunities
  • employability
  • cultural reasons
  • economic reasons
  • political reasons
  • sustained popularity
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