The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The two pie charts illustrate the data of

time

working youngers spent on dissimilar activities in the same country in 1958 and 2008.

Overall

, the percentage of working shows the highest rate both in 1958 and 2008. In 1958, people spent most of their

time

working, it shows just over 30%. Travel to work was illustrated a tiny proportion by 1958 and it was the lowest percentage in that year. The sleeping rate was very close to the working percentage. The difference between them was 1

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in 1958. Compared to data in 1958, adults consumed less

time

with their friends or family in 2008. It decreased from 19% to 6%.

Also

, the population allocated less

time

for sleeping. It declined from nearly one-third to exactly a quarter. Relaxing at home

also

rose from 8% to 13%. During the period other interests or playing sports

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

did not change. It remained the same between 1958 and 2008.

Submitted by ayshan.ahmadova1 on Mon Oct 30 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Because of the rising cost of living, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30's. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,...) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Task 2. Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by new ones. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.