The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The two pie charts illustrate the data of

time

Use synonyms

working youngers spent on dissimilar activities in the same country in 1958 and 2008.

Overall

Linking Words

, the percentage of working shows the highest rate both in 1958 and 2008. In 1958, people spent most of their

time

Use synonyms

working, it shows just over 30%. Travel to work was illustrated a tiny proportion by 1958 and it was the lowest percentage in that year. The sleeping rate was very close to the working percentage. The difference between them was 1

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in 1958. Compared to data in 1958, adults consumed less

time

Use synonyms

with their friends or family in 2008. It decreased from 19% to 6%.

Also

Linking Words

, the population allocated less

time

Use synonyms

for sleeping. It declined from nearly one-third to exactly a quarter. Relaxing at home

also

Linking Words

rose from 8% to 13%. During the period other interests or playing sports

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

did not change. It remained the same between 1958 and 2008.

Submitted by ayshan.ahmadova1 on Mon Oct 30 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

157 words

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The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

is better for children if the whole family including aunts, uncles,and so on are involved in a child upbringing,rather than just their parents.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Some people think that the government is responsible for looking after the elderly. Others believe that it should be family members. Who do you think should take responsibility?

Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree