The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.

The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie charts provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the survey result proportion of six different children’s activities. The first chart illustrates the boy’s cultural and leisure doings in (basketball, soccer, reading,
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
, skateboarding and listening to
music
Use synonyms
)
while
Linking Words
the second one depicts the events in
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
the
girls
Use synonyms
participate (Dancing, gymnastics, reading,
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
, netball, and listening to
music
Use synonyms
).
Overall
Linking Words
,
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
are the most popular among boys
while
Linking Words
girls
Use synonyms
are most
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
in dancing.
In contrast
Linking Words
, reading is the lowest
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
in boys’ perspective.
Although
Linking Words
listening to
music
Use synonyms
has the exact point among
girls
Use synonyms
and boys, it is
also
Linking Words
the smallest
events
Fix the agreement mistake
event
show examples
of the
girls
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the highest percentage of activities among boys above a
third,
Linking Words
at exactly 34%. Followed by, basketball in the second list, at 26%.
Next,
Linking Words
soccer (17%), skateboarding (11%), and hearing to song (10%).
Additionally
Linking Words
, reading is the smallest point, at only 2%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
girls
Use synonyms
are more likely to have dancing
at
Change preposition
as
show examples
the first chosen, at precisely 27%, followed by reading in the second place at nearly a five (21%),
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
(16%), and netball (15%).
In addition
Linking Words
,
gymnastic
Fix the agreement mistake
gymnastics
show examples
and listening to
music
Use synonyms
are the least favourites among females, they
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
almost the same point at 11% and 10%, respectively.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words computer, games, music, girls with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie graph/chart
  • survey
  • cultural activities
  • leisure activities
  • participate
  • percentage
  • engage in
  • contrast
  • significantly
  • minimally
  • gender differences
  • equal participation
  • synthesize
  • trends
  • analyze
  • highlight
  • unexpected
  • popular/unpopular
What to do next:
Look at other essays: