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Band 4.5

The chat below sgows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, devided intro three categories, from 1995- 2002.

#chat #sgows #minutes #billions #telephone #uk #intro #three #categories
The bar graph illustrates some information about how many billions of
minutes
 were taken up by the British people using phone calls from 1995 to 2002 with three different categories.
Overall
, the total amount of
minutes
 consumed by local-fixed line showed growth in a few initial years and
then
 declined in later years.
Whereas
, the number of national and
international-fixed
Correct your spelling
international fixed
show examples
 line and mobile calls increased throughout the period. To be more specific, the local-fixed line was the most preferable choice of the Britishers at 70
billion
minutes
 in 1955,
then
 it went up in the next 3 years to reach roughly 90
billion
minutes
 in 1998 and remained unchanged for 1 year and in the
last
 3 year it decreased by 18
billion
minutes
 in 2002.
Moreover
, in 1995, 37
billion
minutes
 were taken up by the UK people through national and international - fixed lines which was
then
 constantly increased to 50
billion
minutes
 in 1999.
Furthermore
, during the first half decade, the Britishers were not found
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using mobile calls and took only 12
billion
minutes
 in 1999,
however
, after 1999,
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
minutes
enlarged
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 to 45
billion
minutes
 in 2003.
Submitted by vivekchovatiya8 on

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task response
Your essay provides a complete response to the task. You accurately describe the information presented in the graph and provide an overview of the trends observed across the different categories of telephone calls. Keep up the good work!
coherence and cohesion
Overall, your essay demonstrates a clear and logical structure. You present a well-organized introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, you could further improve coherence and cohesion by using more cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases and linking words, to connect your ideas and make the overall flow smoother.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate and shows a good range. You effectively use specific terms related to the topic, such as 'local-fixed line,' 'national and international-fixed line,' and 'mobile calls.' To enhance your lexical resource, consider incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions where appropriate.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is quite strong, with few noticeable errors. You demonstrate a good command of sentence structure and accurately use verb tenses and prepositions. However, be mindful of subject-verb agreement and article usage, as there are a few minor errors throughout the essay. Proofreading and careful editing can help you further improve your grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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