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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world

The chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
The pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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 the
proportion
 of
water
 allocation
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 three different
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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 six continents.
Overall
, even though not all countries come across
with
Change preposition
apply
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the same
proportion
 of
water
 usage,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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evedently
Correct your spelling
evidently
 most countries
used
Wrong verb form
use
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 the most
water
 for
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
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. Central Asia by far
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 the highest
proportion
 for agricultural at 88%, have the lowest allocation on industrial by 5%, and for domestic use at 7%.
Moreover
, Africa and South East Asia share slightly the same number
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
water
 usage. Africa
exploit
Verb problem
uses
show examples
 84% of
water
Correct pronoun usage
its water
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 product, 9% for housing and 7%
on
Change preposition
for
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 industrial,
while
Sout
Correct your spelling
Southeast
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 East Asia use 81% of
water
Correct pronoun usage
its water
show examples
, 7%
on
Change preposition
in
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 domestic area and 5%
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
businesses purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
business purposes
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. On top of that, North America
also
 share nearly the same
proportion
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 Europe.
While
 in North America 48% of
water
exploited
Add a missing verb
is exploited
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 for commercial, 39% on farming, and 13% on household purpose, Europe consume 53% of
water
on
Change preposition
in
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 factory or manufacturing area, 32% on harvesting and 15% on housing. South America may differ
among
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the mentioned countries.
Water
 consumption
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 farming at 71%, housing
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 19% and commercial
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10%.
Submitted by matcha on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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