IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world

The chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 allocation
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 three different
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 six continents.
Overall
Linking Words
, even though not all countries come across
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 usage,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
evedently
Correct your spelling
evidently
 most countries
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 the most
water
Use synonyms
 for
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
show examples
. Central Asia by far
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 for agricultural at 88%, have the lowest allocation on industrial by 5%, and for domestic use at 7%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Africa and South East Asia share slightly the same number
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 usage. Africa
exploit
Verb problem
uses
show examples
 84% of
Use synonyms
water
Correct pronoun usage
its water
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
 product, 9% for housing and 7%
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 industrial,
while
Linking Words
Sout
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
 East Asia use 81% of
Use synonyms
water
Correct pronoun usage
its water
show examples
, 7%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 domestic area and 5%
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
businesses purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
business purposes
show examples
. On top of that, North America
also
Linking Words
 share nearly the same
proportion
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 Europe.
While
Linking Words
 in North America 48% of
water
Use synonyms
exploited
Add a missing verb
is exploited
show examples
 for commercial, 39% on farming, and 13% on household purpose, Europe consume 53% of
water
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 factory or manufacturing area, 32% on harvesting and 15% on housing. South America may differ
among
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the mentioned countries.
Water
Use synonyms
 consumption
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 farming at 71%, housing
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 19% and commercial
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10%.
Submitted by matcha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: