When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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When it comes to choosing a career, many
people
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put the
salary
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at
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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first place to consider. The
salary
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may be a crucial concern when finding a job,
however
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, there are several other things that are
also
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essential. In general,
people
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make
money
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for
living
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a living
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,
thus
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, without a proper
salary
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, they cannot maintain their basic demands. If sufficient
money
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is not earned,
people
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may not have the ability to buy adequate food, leading to malnutrition.
Furthermore
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,
people
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would struggle to find a safe place to settle down and get appropriate rest because of
the
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their
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money
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deficiency. On top of that,
people
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with low salaries would not be able to receive medical support once they are ill.
Therefore
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, when
people
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don’t get enough
money
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from their
job
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jobs
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, they may become vulnerable, exhausted, and hard to be cured when sick. There are multiple factors
concerned
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apply
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as crucial as the
salary
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,
I
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which I
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will discuss in
this
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paragraph.
Firstly
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,
people
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should take the distance between the workplace and the dwelling into consideration, because excessive commuting time is a cost.
Secondly
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, an ideal career should offer employees different welfare,
such
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as performance
bonus
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bonuses
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and medical insurance.
Last
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but not least, unreasonable working hours will damage
people
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's health for
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the long-term
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long-term
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long term
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.
For instance
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,
people
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who always work overtime have no chance to ease themselves physically and mentally
may
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and may
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encounter
breakdown
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breakdowns
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eventually. In conclusion, it is important for
people
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to take not only the
salary
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but
also
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workplace distance,
given
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apply
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welfare, and working hours into consideration when seeking a suitable job.
Submitted by anna85796 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical paragraph structure throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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