People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?
In modern life, Most
of
Change preposition
apply
people
transfer to live in large cities
to earn for living and also
cope with several negative issues in their daily life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
This
essay will discuss two major problems
, traffic
jams
and pollution
, which I believe the government
should encourage people
to move to regional areas.
Firstly
, Traffic
jams
in
G hours Change preposition
during
is
the Change the verb form
are
most
Correct word choice
biggest
problems
in many large cities
when people
go to work or study at the same time. Moreover
, vehicles have to wait for a long time to move out of the jam. This
situation makes people
stressed because they are late for work or school and they also
get psychologically affected about
education, Change preposition
by
personal
life. Correct word choice
and personal
Furthermore
, people
have to face air pollution
day by day. It is caused by the release of harmful chemicals and particles into the atmosphere, for examples
, a result of human activities ,transportation, industrial processes and the burning of fossil fuels.
In my opinion, the Fix the agreement mistake
example
government
should attend to solve these problems
. If people
use public transportation, the traffic
jams
will be decreased. According to
this
theory, they have to build more roads or subways like Japan where people
always go to work on time. Besides
that, removing people
to
smaller regional towns by increasing facilities at that place and constructing new companies or factories to create many jobs for local inhabitants. From that, the large population will be equally divided into rural areas and air Change preposition
from
pollution
is
improved. The Wrong verb form
will be
government
must be policies that favor
rural areas so that Change the spelling
favour
people
see there are many opportunities to live there like in big cities
.
In conclusion, traffic
jams
and air pollution
are two of the serious problems
of people
who live in big cities
. I think that the government
should build public transportation or move individuals to countryside
is Add an article
the countryside
appropriate
solution for those issues.Add an article
an appropriate
the appropriate
Submitted by khoiminhnguyen1411 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your main points are clear and relevant to the topic. However, you could provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Overall, the logical structure of your essay is good. Try to improve the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the cohesion.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is satisfactory, but you could incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are some errors in sentence structure and word choice. Pay more attention to verb tense consistency and word form.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?