The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces over a period of 5 years.

#percentage #change #students #university #graduates #canadian #provinces #period #years

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The diagram

illustrate

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illustrates

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the percentage change in the share of

world-wide

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worldwide

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students among university graduates in

another Canadian provinces

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another Canadian province

other Canadian provinces

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between 2001 and 2006.

Overall

Linking Words

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apply

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2006

undoubtly

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undoubtedly

seem

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seemed

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a very good result for all Canadian

universities

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and New Brunswick

has

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had

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Correct article usage

the

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highest

per

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percentage

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cent

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among

universities

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in both years. The most noticeable

changes

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change

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has

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British Columbia which was under 5 per

cent

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and was a fifth place ,

become

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became

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second and has a above 10 per

cent

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Linking Words

Also

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Also,

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Nova Scotia which was

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apply

show examples

next to

the

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apply

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New Brunswick increased their score, despite in 2006

faled

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falling

opposing to

the

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apply

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British Columbia.

Furthermore

Linking Words

universities

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like Ontario, Labrador ,Newfoundland and

Monitoba

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Manitoba

also

Linking Words

had an increase and doubled in 2006 in 5 years.

As well as

Linking Words

Quebec and Alberta didn't stay in one place and increased sharply

according to

Linking Words

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the previous

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year. Over 5 year period

universities

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show incredible results. Since more

universities

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were below

from

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apply

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5 per

cent

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and only three of them were high

from

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apply

show examples

5. In 2006 all were above five, during three were above ten.

Submitted by aikumarbekarys on Thu Nov 02 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words universities, cent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

174 words

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The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces over a period of 5 years.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their education as feeling under pressure. What are some of the causes of this? What solution could you suggest?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You recently stayed at your friend's place, to look after the house while he/she is away. You accidentally damaged something in his/her house. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: describe what the accident was explain when it happened suggest how the damage can be fixed.