IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates the expenditure of British citizens on four different purposes of visiting abroad (holiday, business, visiting friends or relatives and miscellaneous) from 1993 to 2013.

The line graph illustrates the expenditure of British citizens on four different purposes of visiting abroad (holiday, business, visiting friends or relatives and miscellaneous) from 1993 to 2013.
#line #expenditure #british #citizens #four #purposes #holiday #business #friends #relatives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line chart illustrates the amount of money spent by the citizens of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 on visits abroad from 1993 to 2013.
Overall
,
expect
Correct your spelling
except
show examples
 for miscellaneous, all expenses increased significantly over the period given.Comparing
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
 and other
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 of
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
 ,it is obvious that the holiday was
priority
Add an article
a priority
the priority
show examples
 and they spent the most money between 1993 and 2013. The holiday had the highest number in 1993 with just over 9
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds,
then
 it began to grow dramatically and reached the highest point at more than 24
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 in 2008,
however
,
this
 started to fluctuate between approximately 21 and 24
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
.The spending on visits
friends
Change preposition
to friends
show examples
 and relatives
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
 was at around 2
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 and demonstrated a considerable climb to just below 6
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
. The amount of money that was spent on business equalled almost 3
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pound
Fix the agreement mistake
pounds
show examples
 and showed a quick rise to just about 6
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 over the period in question.The figure for expenses of miscellaneous was relatively stable at around 1 billion for 20 years.
Submitted by marynchukangelina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words billions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: