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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.
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The vertical chart makes a comparison between the expenditures for five majors in 4 different nations in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest expenditure was housing,
meanwhile
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meanwhile,
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 the opposite was true for health care and clothing. In detail, the proportion of Americans
spent
Correct pronoun usage
who spent
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 their
time
Use synonyms
 on food, transportation and health care was 12%, 17%, and 7% respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for housing was 25%, which is 5 times as much as expenditure on clothing. Meanwhile, there was a similar percentage of
time
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 allocated for housing and transportation by Canadians at 20%, followed by the
time
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 allocated for food, clothing and healthcare at 15%, 5% and over 5% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the United Kingdom and Japan experienced a minor difference in
percentage
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the percentage
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 of 5 categories, with the largest gap being seen in transportation at 10%.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, the share of expenditure on Food and health care witnessed Japan’s citizens allocated 23% and 4% of their
time
Use synonyms
 respectively, which is 2% higher than that in the United Kingdom.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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