IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below represents the “Comparison of how urban Chinese spent across major categories in 1995 versus the spending habits in 2011”. Summarise the information given in the diagrams. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram below represents the “Comparison of how urban Chinese spent across major categories in 1995 versus the spending habits in 2011”. Summarise the information given in the diagrams. Write at least 150 words.
#“comparison #chinese #categories #habits #summarise #information #diagrams
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart shows the comparison of how urban
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
show examples
 spent across major
categories
 in 1995 versus 2011. In 1995 well over 50%
od
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 the spending was
done
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 on
food
. In 2011, the spending habits
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 more distributed over the different types of
categories
. In 1995, the majority of the
spend
Replace the word
spending
show examples
 was done on
food
. Other major spending entities were on clothing with 14% of the total spend and 10% on recreation. Eight
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the spending was on residential, 7% on household facilities, 5% on transportation, 3% on medicine and 3% were miscellaneous expenses. In 2011, there was a more even distribution of spend across the
categories
. The
spend
Replace the word
spending
show examples
 on
food
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 to 36%,
along with
 a drop in clothing
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 to 11%. At the same time,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 on recreation slightly increased to 12%. There is a significant growth in transportation and medicine taking it to 14% and 7% respectively.
Spend
Wrong verb form
Spending
show examples
 on residential is 12%, household facilities is 7% and other unknown expenses at 4%. All in all, the
spend
Replace the word
spending
show examples
 on
food
 by the urban
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
show examples
 remained higher than all the other
categories
 over the time
perios
Correct your spelling
period
periods
 shown in the charts.
Submitted by usachalo24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words categories, food with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "droped" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: