some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualification. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today, one of the Important things for individual success is knowledge so
people
make
effort
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an effort
show examples
to be more knowledgeable. Some
people
prefer to be
tought
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taught
thought
some other
subjects
as well as
primary
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
.
On the other hand
, other
people
say pupils have to focus on just studying for a certification.
This
essay will discuss both views and will support my opinion.
Firstly
, some
people
believe that other extra
subjects
can be distracting and their view is that if we concentrate on a specific
subject
, we will be more successful and
acheive
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achieve
a certification
about
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in
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that
subject
.
In addition
, they say, you will be
expert
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an expert
show examples
in a
subject
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
better than you will know some information about several
subjects
.
For example
, if somebody is talented in two
subjects
, he has to choose one of them and focus on that
subject
.
On the other hand
, other
people
have another attitude. Their view is that
people
have to learn several
subjects
at the same time because nowadays we live in
competitive
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a competitive
the competitive
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world and some
jobs
require some experts so we can not be
expert
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experts
show examples
in just
specific
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a specific
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subject
.
In addition
, thanks
technology
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to technology
show examples
,
demands
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the demands
show examples
of
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for
show examples
some
jobs
are increasing significantly and some
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
are decreasing so if you are
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
in a
subject
, it is
to
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too
show examples
risky.
For example
, artificial intelligence can destroy many
jobs
like
nurse
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nurses
show examples
and artificial intelligence can work more
efficient
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efficiently
show examples
. So if you do not have another skill, you will be unemployed. In conclusion,
although
many
people
believe pupils have to focus on a certain
subject
, I believe it is not only detrimental
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
risky. Personally, students have to learn several
subjects
at the same time and it makes them more skilled and
have
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has
show examples
more chance to find
jobs
.
Submitted by behshad_arabzadeh on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and topic sentence. It will help you organize your ideas more effectively and improve the coherence of your essay.
lexical resource
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and vary your word choice. This will make your essay more interesting to read and demonstrate a higher level of lexical resource.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your grammar usage and sentence structure. Try to use complex and compound sentences to show a greater range of grammatical structures.
task response
Make sure to fully address the task prompt and provide a balanced discussion of both views. Provide more specific examples to support your points and make your arguments more compelling.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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