IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #students #time #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These bar charts present the sum of
students
Use synonyms
 of graduate and postgraduate
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 who did not work full-time after completing their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 in 2008. Here, we can see that the rate of engagement in the
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
 is the highest in both groups. A
minimun
Correct your spelling
minimum
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 joined voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. On the one hand, 29,665 graduate
students
Use synonyms
 headed to
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, 17735
students
Use synonyms
 started a part-time job.
Additionally
Linking Words
, A large
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 remained unemployed and the rate is near to
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
part-time
Change preposition
of part-time
show examples
 workers.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Only 3500
students
Use synonyms
 engaged themselves in voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is the lowest
number
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the Chart of graduate
students
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 completed post-graduation compared to
gratuate
Correct your spelling
graduate
students
Use synonyms
. The highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 started
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
 and the second highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 joined a part-time job. The
number
Use synonyms
 of unemployed
students
Use synonyms
 was 1625 and only 315
students
Use synonyms
 started working voluntarily.
Submitted by ashiqbillah99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, study, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pursuit
  • temporary employment
  • voluntary work
  • further studies
  • part-time work
  • full-time employment
  • data representation
  • statistical comparison
  • post-educational paths
  • job market
  • unemployment rate
  • career advancement
  • skill development
  • lifelong learning
  • employment sector
  • vocational training
  • economic trends
  • workforce participation
  • career aspirations
  • higher education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: