Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other prople think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the contemporary world,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
of
Science
and
Technology
plays
an
Change the article
a
show examples
vital role. A segment of society
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
that it is essential to learn
History
as a subject
while
others
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
about the importance of learning
Science
and
Technology
. I strongly trust that children should learn
science
rather than focusing the
History
.
This
essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
discuss
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
both
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of the argument
while
providing evidence
why
Change preposition
as to why
show examples
learning
science
is superior. On the one hand,
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
are working hard to enhance the medical field with
collaboration
Add an article
the collaboration
show examples
of vast
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
.
Therefore
, nowadays doctors are able to
ditect
Correct your spelling
detect
illness at the beginning.
For example
,
due to
the advancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
chemistry
Add a comma
chemistry,
show examples
the MRI scanning instrument has
made
Add a missing verb
been made
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sophisticated
technology
.
Hence
, it is used to
identity
Replace the word
identify
show examples
the cancers in
brain
Add an article
the brain
show examples
at their early stage. It clearly shows the importance of learning
science
and
technology
and it directs people to cure the world.
On the other hand
,
history
is a lesson for the present and future. Studying
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
history
is not
wasting
Wrong verb form
a waste of
show examples
time.
For instance
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
antient
Correct your spelling
ancient
Sri Lanka had a
well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed
show examples
water
destribution
Correct your spelling
distribution
systems
Fix the agreement mistake
system
show examples
which had been established by their kings.
Further
, in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
18th
Century
Add a comma
Century,
show examples
they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
built a castle called Sigiriya and currently in has been recognized as one of
Add an article
the world
show examples
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
wonders.
Accordingly
, teaching and gathering
knowled
Correct your spelling
knowledge
about
history
will be an investment for tomorrow.
To conclude
, there is a balance status
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
be observed
learning
Change preposition
in learning
show examples
History
as well as
Science
. Because both of them have an outstanding value to the society. Owing to that some portion of people have paid
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
while
others
saying
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
the necessity of
Science
and
Technology
. In my opinion
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
should study
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Science
and
Technology
rather
thany
Correct your spelling
than
following the past.
Submitted by shanikamaduri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Include a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve the overall clarity of your writing.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: