IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People have different
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
Change preposition
on that
show examples
that
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 should college
students
Use synonyms
 spend all their time on compulsory lessons.
While
Linking Words
 obtaining a qualification is a predominate work for undergraduates, I still believe
students
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to choose some extracurricular
courses
Use synonyms
 considering their future developments. On the one hand, it is important to acquire a qualification for undergraduates. For one thing, the diploma is evidence that you have satisfied the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 graduation. If someone does not get
this
Linking Words
 certification, he will meet many difficulties when he enters society. For another, compulsory
courses
Use synonyms
 are the fundament to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 more complex
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
, which means it is pointless to learn some deep
subjects
Use synonyms
 if you
are not grasp
Change the verb form
do not grasp
show examples
 these basic lessons. Take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer science,
for example
Linking Words
, if you only can write simple programs which are not meet the graduation requirements, you may feel
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 artificial intelligence technology is very hard to understand.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, learning other
subjects
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to their main
subjects
Use synonyms
 has many benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the wide range of knowledge will help
students
Use synonyms
 to become complex talents, which will give them more choices when they are looking for jobs.
Secondly
Linking Words
, extensive learning can help the public to know more about the world, so they can more easily make the right decision when they are in a crisis environment.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a postgraduate has taken business administration and accounting
courses
Use synonyms
, they can deal with an enterprise financial crisis more facile. To summarize,
although
Linking Words
 acquiring a qualification is a pivotal thing for university
students
Use synonyms
, I approve that they can take some time to attend some
courses
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to their main
subjects
Use synonyms
 because these lessons will bring numerous advantages to them.
Submitted by 1278948168 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear logical structure; paragraphs should be well-organized, and ideas should flow from one to the other seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction and conclusion are clearly distinguishable and encapsulate the topic effectively, summarizing the main points appropriately.
coherence cohesion
Support all main points with specific and relevant examples or explanations. Avoid general statements that do not directly back up your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully answers the question, addressing all parts of the task. It should also present complete ideas that contribute effectively to the reader's understanding of the topic.
task achievement
While it is good to include comprehensive ideas, clarity should not be sacrificed. Make sure each idea is explained in a simple and understandable manner.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to enhance the essay, adding depth and dimension to your arguments. Make sure these examples directly relate to the points being made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: