the table below gives information about mangement posiotions held by women in a european country in 2006. summarise the information by selecting ard reporting the main features. and make comparsions where relevant.

the table below gives information about mangement posiotions held by women in a european country in 2006.

summarise the information by selecting ard reporting the main features. and make comparsions where relevant.
The table depicts data about management roles held by women in four industries in 2006.
Overall
, it is noticeable that hospitality had the largest proportion of management,
whereas
manufacturing lowest.
Moreover
,
managers
in hospitality obtained the highest percentage,
while
CEOs
in manufacturing smallest throughout the period.
To begin
with finance,
executives
accounted for 4.58% which is 2 times smaller than
managers
(16.39%).
Therefore
,
CEOs
obtained only 1.98%. In terms of manufacturing,
executives
and
CEOs
shared similar
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
show examples
namely 1.98% and 1.21 % respectively.
Consequently
,
managers
had approximately 9 %. With regards to IT,
managers
accounted for 16.04% which is over two times bigger than
CEOs
6.58%.
Furthermore
,
executives
obtained only 12.82 %. The rate for hospitality particularly
managers
had 33.14%,
whereas
executives
accounted for only 19.9%.
However
, in terms of
CEOs
it had approximately 20.6%.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words managers, ceos, executives with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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