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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows the total numbers of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories from 1995 to 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the total numbers of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories from 1995 to 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#numbers #minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given graphics
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the data about
duration
Correct article usage
the duration
show examples
 of telephone calls in the
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
, between three different lines from 1995 to 2002. 
Overall
Linking Words
, the local fixed
line
Use synonyms
 was the most common one used at that time. The number of
minutes
Use synonyms
 for National and international- fixed
Use synonyms
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 and mobiles increased, but the local- fixed
line
Use synonyms
 peaked and dropped.
Firstly
Linking Words
, from the year 1995, the local- fixed
line
Use synonyms
 usage
Verb problem
apply
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 90
minutes
Use synonyms
 (billions) by 1999 and declined to 70
minutes
Use synonyms
 and the end of 2002.
Secondly
Linking Words
, looking at the National and international- fixed which gradually increased from the duration of 35
minutes
Use synonyms
 to 60
minutes
Use synonyms
 by the end.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobiles( all calls) showed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 drastic change from almost zero to 45
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 by 2002.
Submitted by noorainfatima135 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words line, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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