IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You want to rent out a small apartment to a family, and you have decided to advertise it. Write a letter to the editor of a local newspaper asking to advertise your ad on the front page of the newspaper. In your letter, give details of the ad that you want to publish mention that you want the ad to be published on the front page say how you would like to pay for the advertisement Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#rent #apartment #editor #newspaper #ad #front #page #advertisement #sir #madam
Dear Sir or Madam, Hope you are doing great. I am writing to inquire about the possibility of an ad about renting a small apartment.
To begin
 with, I am wondering about renting a small apartment for my family. The description of the ad includes a few things namely three bedrooms and a couple of bathrooms.
Secondly
, the flat should be in a safe area, including the neighbourhood.
Lastly
, the house is not only close to the bus stop but
also
 to the groceries owing to no private vehicles.
Moreover
, I kindly request that the advertisement on the first can be helpful for easy notice as my parents are moving on the first of the upcoming month.
Furthermore
, printing the ad on the first page can be beneficial for me
as well as
 the seller
due to
 less waste of time. At
last
, I would like to discuss the price. Is it possible to pay with cash? Please feel free to contact me on
this
 email or on my phone number. Thanks in advance for considering my request, l look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Gurpinder Kaur
Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on

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task response
The response addresses the task but lacks some essential details related to the apartment ad. It should include specific information about the location, rent, and contact details.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing meet the requirements but lack formality and appropriate expressions for a letter to the editor. Use more formal language and expressions for this type of letter.
lexical resource
The vocabulary and language used are somewhat appropriate, but there is room for improvement in using more formal and advanced vocabulary. Consider using academic or formal language to enhance lexical resource.
grammatical range
The grammatical range and accuracy are satisfactory, but there are some errors in punctuation, tenses, and sentence structure. Review and refine the use of complex sentences and correct punctuation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • I am writing to inquire about the possibility of advertising
  • currently have a small apartment available for rent
  • The apartment is located in a convenient and safe neighborhood
  • It consists of
  • The ad should include
  • I kindly request that the ad be placed on the front page
  • I would like to discuss the payment options
  • Thank you for considering my request
  • I look forward to hearing from you
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