The increase in the production of consumer goods result in damage to the natural environment, what are the causes of this and what can be done to solve it?

It is true that the growth of producing consumer products has negative impacts on the natural environment including
air
polltion
Correct your spelling
pollution
and water contamination. There are several solutions
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
be adopted to improve
this
situation. There are two primary reasons why the increase in the production of consumer goods is harmful to the atmosphere and the underground water.
Firstly
, the
booming
Replace the word
boom
show examples
in the population leads to an upward trend in consumption, resulting in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
climb in
producing
Replace the word
production
show examples
without water purification systems.
Consequently
, a huge amount of untreated industrial waste is released into the environment damaging either marine habitats or the
air
.
Secondly
, the lack of strict regulations on
manufatories
Correct your spelling
manufactories
manufactures
is attributed to the following factors, causing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
improper sewage disposal
producing
Change the verb form
to produce
show examples
harmful contaminants leaked into the ecosystem.
For example
, because of the toxic waste revealed from
Vedan
Correct article usage
the Vedan
show examples
factory, tons of type of fish became
extinction
Replace the word
extinct
show examples
in 2009. Fortunately, there are many actions that could be taken to address the above-mentioned issues. The first solution would be to raise people's awareness about overconsumption via broadcasts or national channels, sharing why and how residents can balance their goods needs to mitigate the environmental
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result, people will be
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
behaviour and have proper
changings
Replace the word
changes
show examples
in shopping. The second measure would relate to the
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
role in applying appropriate fines to businesses lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
waste treatment plants to steer contaminants away from
releasing
Replace the word
release
show examples
.
For example
, thanks to industrial substances regulation programmes from
Japanese
Add an article
the Japanese
show examples
government in 1900, Japan was successful in cutting off the
air
pollution rate by 20% compared to
this
in 1890. In conclusion, various measures can be taken
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
authorities to tackle environmental issues involving
air
pollution and contaminated groundwater. To be able to achieve better results in
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
conservation in the future, people need to be fully informed and educated
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
negative problems,
along with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governemt
Correct your spelling
government
supervision.
Submitted by nguyenmysam722001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay does not adequately address all parts of the task and may have a narrow focus or slight deviation from the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat clear, with some progression of ideas, although cohesion could be improved.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of vocabulary, although there is room for improvement in terms of accuracy and appropriateness of word choice.
grammatical range
There are errors in sentence structure, punctuation, and word forms, and the essay would benefit from more varied and complex sentence structures.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural resources
  • deforestation
  • depletion of water sources
  • biodiversity loss
  • pollutants
  • manufacturing processes
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable practices
  • environmental regulations
  • environmental awareness
  • responsible consumption
  • eco-friendly products
  • recycle
  • renewable energy sources
  • industrial waste
  • emissions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: