IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You want to rent out a small apartment to a family, and you have decided to advertise it. Write a letter to the editor of a local newspaper asking to advertise your ad on the front page of the newspaper. In your letter, give details of the ad that you want to publish mention that you want the ad to be published on the front page say how you would like to pay for the advertisement Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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I am writing to inquire about the possibility of advertising in your newspaper. A couple of months ago I built a new home in Sham Nagar and it has
two-story
Correct article usage
a two-story
show examples
 building.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the apartment is located in a convenient and safe neighbourhood.
Although
Linking Words
, you can mention material quality
as well as
Linking Words
 interior design of the house. The advertisement must look attractive to the public so people like to buy
this
Linking Words
. You can add information about the land area and the cost of the flat. The proper address of the house can be mentioned in the ad.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, you have to mention my contact number so that the tenant can call me directly for more details. If you publish the picture of my house on your front page it would be better to sell fast. I would like to discuss your payment process which I assure you that I can give you a good amount of your efforts. I am looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. Yours Faithfully,

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coherence cohesion
The letter addresses most of the key points for the advertisement, such as the property details and the request to publish on the front page. However, the clarity and organization of the content can be improved for better coherence and task achievement.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriate, but there is a lack of clear organization and coherence in presenting the ideas. The letter also fails to maintain a clear single idea per paragraph, affecting the overall coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The letter lacks precise and varied vocabulary related to property advertisement. The usage of appropriate descriptive and convincing language could enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
The grammatical range and accuracy need improvement. There are issues with sentence structure and clarity, which affect the overall grammatical range.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • I am writing to inquire about the possibility of advertising
  • currently have a small apartment available for rent
  • The apartment is located in a convenient and safe neighborhood
  • It consists of
  • The ad should include
  • I kindly request that the ad be placed on the front page
  • I would like to discuss the payment options
  • Thank you for considering my request
  • I look forward to hearing from you
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