Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behaviour both on and off the field, can have negative influences. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Role
models
have both advantages and disadvantageous on their followers. Some people
think that professional athletes
are good role
models
for youngsters
. However
, others believe that whether inside or outside the field they impact
negatively. I strongly agree with the positive influences of professional athletes
as role
models
.
Athletes
can be great role
models
for youngsters
. They can inspire young people
to have perseverance in their lives in order to achieve their goals. Also
, athlete's healthy lifestyles can encourage youners to have a healthy diet and regular exercise. Furthermore
, the teamwork spirit in athletes
is a good example for young people
to develop their cooperation skills. As a result
, the young generation can benefit from taking athletes
as their role
models
not only physically but also
mentally.
On the other hand
, athletes
can have a negative impact
as role
models
for youngsters
. Unrealistic expectations impact
of
Change preposition
apply
athletes
' lifestyles are
dangerous for the young generation. Young Correct word choice
and are
people
believe that it is easy to get famous and wealthy. Consequently
, after many attempts, they feel disappointment and depression. Some athletes
' moral issues , for example
, addiction to drugs or drinks are another negative impact
on youngsters
. However
, it can be good for young people
to understand that it is not easy to reach your ambitions. Youngsters
need to know that athletes
are human and human makes mistakes. If they quit drugs or drinking they will be a good example for younger to find out they can fix everything too.
In conclusion, it is true that some athletes
as role
models
have a negative impact
on youngsters
, but they can also
correct their mistakes. There are more positive features in athletes
' role
models
than negative ones.Submitted by looordomid on
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Task Response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion at the end. However, the introduction could be more engaging and the conclusion could summarize the main points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure is fairly clear, but the essay would benefit from stronger transitions between ideas. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good command of vocabulary with a range of appropriate lexical choices. However, more variety in sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary could enhance the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows good control of grammar and punctuation, but there are some instances of lack of subject-verb agreement and use of inappropriate tenses. A wider variety of complex structures and more accurate use of grammar features would enhance the grammatical range.