The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#bar #percentage #participation #men #development #three #companies #year #summarise #information #report #features #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates the percentage take part of
male
in senior development in the three companies,Fix the agreement mistake
males
IBM
,Microsoft
and Apple
between 1980 and the year 2010.Overall
,company
of Add an article
a company
the company
Apple
was higher during the three years and after that little
bit increased but not much Correct article usage
a little
and
Correct word choice
apply
IBM
lowest started in 1980 at 5% and remained steady in 1985,Change noun form
IBM's
Microsoft
and Change preposition
with Microsoft
Apple
at 8%,12%in 1980,in 1985 was
10,11%.
Unnecessary verb
apply
Furthermore
,IBM
firm increased in 1990 at
11%,Change preposition
to
in
1995 it was higher Correct word choice
and in
almost
25% Change preposition
by almost
moreover
,Microsoft
and Apple
increased but lower than IBM
in 1995 it was approximately 20%.
Last
but not least,in 2000 and 2010 IBM
dramatically went up and now it was 31% and 62% highest percentage in
the end of the period.Change the preposition
at
Microsoft
also
increased in 2010 reached at
45% and in 2010 Wrong verb form
reaching
Apple
was lowest
percentage.Change the article
the lowest
IBM
Change noun form
IBM's
started
point was so low but it grew Wrong verb form
starting
ver
sharply.Correct your spelling
very
Submitted by rs55169611 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ibm, microsoft, apple with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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