The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The bar chart illustrates the percentage take part of

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

in senior development in the three companies,

IBM

Use synonyms

Microsoft

Use synonyms

and

Apple

Use synonyms

between 1980 and the year 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

company

Add an article

a company

the company

show examples

Apple

Use synonyms

was higher during the three years and after that

little

Correct article usage

a little

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bit increased but not much

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

IBM

Change noun form

IBM's

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lowest started in 1980 at 5% and remained steady in 1985,

Use synonyms

Microsoft

Change preposition

with Microsoft

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and

Apple

Use synonyms

at 8%,12%in 1980,in 1985

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

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10,11%.

Furthermore

Linking Words

IBM

Use synonyms

firm increased in 1990

Change preposition

show examples

11%,

Correct word choice

and in

show examples

1995 it was higher

almost

Change preposition

by almost

show examples

25%

moreover

Linking Words

Microsoft

Use synonyms

and

Apple

Use synonyms

increased but lower than

IBM

Use synonyms

in 1995 it was approximately 20%.

Last

Linking Words

but not least,in 2000 and 2010

IBM

Use synonyms

dramatically went up and now it was 31% and 62% highest percentage

Change the preposition

show examples

the end of the period.

Microsoft

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

increased in 2010

reached at

Wrong verb form

reaching

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45% and in 2010

Apple

Use synonyms

was

lowest

Change the article

the lowest

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percentage.

Use synonyms

IBM

Change noun form

IBM's

show examples

started

Wrong verb form

starting

show examples

point was so low but it grew

ver

Correct your spelling

very

show examples

sharply.

Submitted by rs55169611 on Fri Nov 10 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words ibm, microsoft, apple with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

140 words

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The bar chart below shows the percentage participation of men in senior development in three companies between 1980 and the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

8.Shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drink that have been scientifically proved to be bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that it is acceptance to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while others argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

he rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages.

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?