63.The chart and graph show the categories of the owrkforce in Londan an the unemployment rate within three groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

63.The chart and graph show the categories of the owrkforce in Londan an the unemployment rate within three groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
IELTS Writing Task Chart for 63.The chart and graph show the categories of the owrkforce in Londan an the unemployment rate within three groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The pie chart and the line graph illustrate the categories of the
workforce
Use synonyms
in London
as well as
Linking Words
the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
for each
workforce
Use synonyms
group.
Overall
Linking Words
, English-speaking people have the lowest
workforce
Use synonyms
and the highest
unemployment
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
native Londoners have the highest proportion of the
workforce
Use synonyms
. Native Londoners occupy half of the
overall
Linking Words
workforce
Use synonyms
in London, being the largest proportion compared with the other groups,
this
Linking Words
is followed by non-English-speaking people with just over two-fifths, which is 42%, and the English-speaking individuals have the smallest proportion of the
workforce
Use synonyms
with only 8%. In 1993, the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
for English-speaking people was the highest, at 8%,
this
Linking Words
decreased sharply over the years, in 2003, it only had a
rate
Use synonyms
of 3%, but it was still the group with the highest
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, native Londoners, at the beginning had a
rate
Use synonyms
of 4% of
unemployment
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
varied during the 10 years,
whereas
Linking Words
in 2003, it only had 2% of
unemployment
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
of non-English speakers went down moderately during the period, from 3% to 1% in 1993 and 2003 respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words workforce, unemployment, rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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