63.The chart and graph show the categories of the owrkforce in Londan an the unemployment rate within three groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

63.The chart and graph show the categories of the owrkforce in Londan an the unemployment rate within three groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The pie chart and the line graph illustrate the categories of the
workforce
in London
as well as
the
unemployment
rate
for each
workforce
group.
Overall
, English-speaking people have the lowest
workforce
and the highest
unemployment
,
while
native Londoners have the highest proportion of the
workforce
. Native Londoners occupy half of the
overall
workforce
in London, being the largest proportion compared with the other groups,
this
is followed by non-English-speaking people with just over two-fifths, which is 42%, and the English-speaking individuals have the smallest proportion of the
workforce
with only 8%. In 1993, the
unemployment
rate
for English-speaking people was the highest, at 8%,
this
decreased sharply over the years, in 2003, it only had a
rate
of 3%, but it was still the group with the highest
unemployment
rate
.
Furthermore
, native Londoners, at the beginning had a
rate
of 4% of
unemployment
,
this
varied during the 10 years,
whereas
in 2003, it only had 2% of
unemployment
.
Finally
, the
unemployment
rate
of non-English speakers went down moderately during the period, from 3% to 1% in 1993 and 2003 respectively.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words workforce, unemployment, rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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