Some poeople say History is one of the most important school subject and people think that, in todays;s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In the digital era, the use of
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the internet
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internet
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Internet
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of
things
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Things
show examples
is a universal phenomenon. There is indeed an ongoing debate around the
school
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curicula
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curricula
curriculum
changes to meet
todays
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today's
show examples
needs.
Although
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some people believe that
History
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is the most crucial subject, I stand with those who argue that these days
Science
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and Technology are way more necessary to teach in
school
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.
Firstly
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, subjects
is
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are
show examples
an integral part of
school
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curicula
Correct your spelling
curricula
curriculum
. One of the
excisisting
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existing
exciting
subjects is
History
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which
had
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has
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been taught for years since elementary
school
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.
History
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might be
usufel
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useful
in
adressing
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addressing
countries
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countries'
country's
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trajectory, the
ancentors
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ancestors
, and
value
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the value
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of traditional stories.
For instance
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, centuries ago Indonesia was fighting for its
independency
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independence
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, these
story
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stories
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explain
about
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apply
show examples
how to plan
extraordinary
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an extraordinary
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yet effective
way
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ways
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to survive with the limited equipment available. It is indeed
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a wonderfull
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wonderfull
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wonderful
lesson about teamwork, coordination,
comitment
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commitment
and dedication that
student
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students
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can now reflect on. Even though
history
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taught
students
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about certain
surviving
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survival
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skills
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, those
skills
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are just not enough to survive in
this
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technological era.
Science
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and technology must be
adress
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addressed
to
equipt
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equip
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student
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students
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with practical
skills
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.
These skill
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This skill
These skills
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will help and
familirise
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familiarise
familiarize
students
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to meet
todays
Change noun form
today's
show examples
needs in
the
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apply
show examples
working
life
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. Many countries have relied on
evidence based
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evidence-based
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information as their foundation of knowledge.
Science
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discovery given the basic
relieble
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reliable
sources that people can believe on.
For example
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, in Europe, children
introduce
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are introduced
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with
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to
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simple
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the simple
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science
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chemical
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of chemical
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reactions,
about
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apply
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nature, animal
life
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circle
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circles
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, and plant photosinthesis
since
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from
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the
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an
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early age. Evident has
proved
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proven
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that
this
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science
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class enhance
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students
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students'
student's
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logical thinking.
Additionally
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,
technologies
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technology
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can not be
seperated
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separated
from our daily
life
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. By teaching
this
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in
school
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,
students
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can learn how to utilise technologies responsibly, how to operate
it
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them
show examples
, and how to identify the problem or
fraugt
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fraught
that might
happened
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happen
show examples
. In conclusion,
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history
Correct article usage
a history
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subject might help
students
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on thinking about several
surviving
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survival
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skills
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and respect their
ancentors
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ancestors
.
However
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,
historical
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the historical
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subject is
todays
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today
not quite relevant
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
worlds
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world's
show examples
global developments. In order to
prepared
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prepare
show examples
students
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with
practicle
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practical
skills
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for the upcoming future
life
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,
science
Use synonyms
and technology are the way more important to teach in
school
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ambercampbell.xx25 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your arguments are directly addressing the task prompt. Make sure to provide a balanced view on both the importance of history and the importance of science and technology.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is fairly clear, with a well-structured introduction and conclusion. However, there are some issues with the cohesion of the supporting paragraphs. Work on transitioning between ideas more smoothly to improve coherence.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and generally uses appropriate words and phrases. Continue to expand your vocabulary to include more varied and sophisticated language.
Grammatical Range
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the essay. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy.
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