Some poeople say History is one of the most important school subject and people think that, in todays;s world subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the digital era, the use of
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the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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of
things
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Things
show examples
is a universal phenomenon. There is indeed an ongoing debate around the
school
curicula
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curricula
curriculum
changes to meet
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
needs.
Although
some people believe that
History
is the most crucial subject, I stand with those who argue that these days
Science
and Technology are way more necessary to teach in
school
.
Firstly
, subjects
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
an integral part of
school
curicula
Correct your spelling
curricula
curriculum
. One of the
excisisting
Correct your spelling
existing
exciting
subjects is
History
which
had
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has
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been taught for years since elementary
school
.
History
might be
usufel
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useful
in
adressing
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addressing
countries
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countries'
country's
show examples
trajectory, the
ancentors
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ancestors
, and
value
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the value
show examples
of traditional stories.
For instance
, centuries ago Indonesia was fighting for its
independency
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independence
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, these
story
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stories
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explain
about
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apply
show examples
how to plan
extraordinary
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an extraordinary
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yet effective
way
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ways
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to survive with the limited equipment available. It is indeed
Correct article usage
a wonderfull
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wonderfull
Correct your spelling
wonderful
lesson about teamwork, coordination,
comitment
Correct your spelling
commitment
and dedication that
student
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students
show examples
can now reflect on. Even though
history
taught
students
about certain
surviving
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survival
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skills
, those
skills
are just not enough to survive in
this
technological era.
Science
and technology must be
adress
Correct your spelling
addressed
to
equipt
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equip
show examples
student
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students
show examples
with practical
skills
.
These skill
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This skill
These skills
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will help and
familirise
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familiarise
familiarize
students
to meet
todays
Change noun form
today's
show examples
needs in
the
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apply
show examples
working
life
. Many countries have relied on
evidence based
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evidence-based
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information as their foundation of knowledge.
Science
discovery given the basic
relieble
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reliable
sources that people can believe on.
For example
, in Europe, children
introduce
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are introduced
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with
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to
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simple
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the simple
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science
chemical
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of chemical
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reactions,
about
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apply
show examples
nature, animal
life
circle
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circles
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, and plant photosinthesis
since
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from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
early age. Evident has
proved
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proven
show examples
that
this
science
class enhance
students
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students'
student's
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logical thinking.
Additionally
,
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
can not be
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
from our daily
life
. By teaching
this
in
school
,
students
can learn how to utilise technologies responsibly, how to operate
it
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them
show examples
, and how to identify the problem or
fraugt
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fraught
that might
happened
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happen
show examples
. In conclusion,
history
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a history
show examples
subject might help
students
on thinking about several
surviving
Replace the word
survival
show examples
skills
and respect their
ancentors
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ancestors
.
However
,
historical
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the historical
show examples
subject is
todays
Correct your spelling
today
not quite relevant
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
worlds
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world's
show examples
global developments. In order to
prepared
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prepare
show examples
students
with
practicle
Correct your spelling
practical
skills
for the upcoming future
life
,
science
and technology are the way more important to teach in
school
.
Submitted by ambercampbell.xx25 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your arguments are directly addressing the task prompt. Make sure to provide a balanced view on both the importance of history and the importance of science and technology.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is fairly clear, with a well-structured introduction and conclusion. However, there are some issues with the cohesion of the supporting paragraphs. Work on transitioning between ideas more smoothly to improve coherence.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and generally uses appropriate words and phrases. Continue to expand your vocabulary to include more varied and sophisticated language.
Grammatical Range
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the essay. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy.
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