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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of how many British
students
Use synonyms
 at a University in England were able to speak foreign languages
besides
Linking Words
 English, reported from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were little changes that
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 be observed. The majority speak Spanish as their
second
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, the
German
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 witnessed no changes over the period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there were about approximately a third of the
students
Use synonyms
 who spoke Spanish only, who took up the biggest proportion in 2000. Followed by no other
language
Use synonyms
 (20%), French (15%) and another
language
Use synonyms
 (15%) combined took up half of the population.
Students
Use synonyms
 who spoke two other languages and
German
Use synonyms
 only were about 10% each. In the
second
Use synonyms
 pie chart, 5% growth could be seen in each category,
besides
Linking Words
 no other
language
Use synonyms
, French and
German
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 who spoke Spanish only as their
second
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 still took up the biggest percentage of the population exactly 35%. The
second
Use synonyms
 and third places were followed by
students
Use synonyms
 who spoke French only and two other languages 20% and 15%, respectively. The
last
Linking Words
 three remaining categories,
students
Use synonyms
 who spoke no other
language
Use synonyms
, another
language
Use synonyms
 and
German
Use synonyms
 were only 10% each.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, second, language, german with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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