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Band 4

The bar chart illustrate percentage of the differensies of population in public who lives in and outside Australia between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrate percentage of the differensies of population in public who lives in and outside Australia between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #percentage #differensies #population #lives #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The highest one was
Cities
Change the noun form
City
show examples
areas
 that
outside
Add a missing verb
were outside
show examples
 of the country and the lowest one
also
 was outside
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Rural
areas
. Cities
areas
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 rise in all two aspects of counting. In
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of
people
 that born in
Add an article
the country
show examples
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
 they had approximately 70% in 2010
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 more
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
 20% that was in 1995. They
also
 increase to 20% in outside
areas
 of Australia
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 account
60
Change preposition
for 60
show examples
% and after 15 years glow to 80%. Towns in that case do not
had
Change the verb form
have
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 so big changes.
People
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in Australia from 1995 to 2010 had
glow
Correct your spelling
grown
show examples
 down from 20% to
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 15%.
People
 who
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 in
Australians
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 town does not change after 15 years and calculate about 10%. The biggest
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 was in Rural
areas
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
individuasl
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
 that
does
Verb problem
were
show examples
 not born in Australia that rocketly
slide
Wrong verb form
slid
show examples
 from 40% to under 5%.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
people
 who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in the country was 2
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
 more in 1995 than in 2010.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words areas, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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