The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
of the
differensies
Correct your spelling
differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
in and outside
Australia
between 1995 and 2010. The highest one was
Cities
Change the noun form
City
show examples
areas
that
outside
Add a missing verb
were outside
show examples
of the country and the lowest one
also
was outside
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Rural
areas
. Cities
areas
Change the verb form
were
show examples
was rise
Change the verb form
rose
show examples
in all two aspects of counting. In
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
of
people
that born in
Add an article
the country
show examples
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
they had approximately 70% in 2010
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
more
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
20% that was in 1995. They
also
increase to 20% in outside
areas
of
Australia
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
account
60
Change preposition
for 60
show examples
% and after 15 years glow to 80%. Towns in that case do not
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
so big changes.
People
who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
in
Australia
from 1995 to 2010 had
glow
Correct your spelling
grown
show examples
down from 20% to
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
15%.
People
who
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
in
Australians
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
town does not change after 15 years and calculate about 10%. The biggest
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
was in Rural
areas
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
of
individuasl
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
that
does
Verb problem
were
show examples
not born in
Australia
that rocketly
slide
Wrong verb form
slid
show examples
from 40% to under 5%.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
people
who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
in the country was 2
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
more in 1995 than in 2010.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Linking words: Add more linking words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, areas, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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